found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
