So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
