You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
