We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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