i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
