I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
