Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
