I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
