he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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