these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
my shit smells like andre
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
