I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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