this beer tastes like vomit already
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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