I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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