Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
