i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
