It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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