This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
