Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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