oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
