My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
We're too hungover to prance.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
