hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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