How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
