We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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