sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize