I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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