I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
