Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
