You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
