I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
