Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
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