great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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