She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
She's the barista slut.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I don't want my vagina anymore.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
