i jhust puked up my retainher.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
