so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
