I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize