Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize