You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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