Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I love having hate sex.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
MIDGETS
????
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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