She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
