The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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