I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
