I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
