how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
