Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
