you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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