I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
