I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize