Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
