I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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