chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
